Love or respect??

Do you know those calenders where you have one page for every day of the year, that every day you can rip one page off and read what's on the next?

Well, we have such a calender, and it has a saying on every page.. I don't really like it, as most of the times I disagree with the writer. For two months now, I've been thinking about this one saying. It says:

The best thing you can do for your children, is to love your partner.

I think most people who read it for the first time, will say: "yes, it's true." But is it really? Let us see.

What is the thing that frightens children the most? The idea of their parents breaking up... and when will they get that idea? Exactly, when their parents fight. Now we have established this, we need to see when couples do or do not argue.

I know a lot of people that deeply love their partners, but once in a while (once a month or maybe once a week) they just need to argue, they always find something to fight about. And this doesn't mean they don't love their partner, but they just have to sometimes...

In my opinion the best you can do for your children is to respect you partner. Because if you really respect a person, rather it is your partner or not, you don't feel the need to change that person.

Respecting a person is respecting it for all he or she is, his/her way of living and thinking, his or her being who he/she really is. It doesn't mean you have to agree with that person all the time, but it does mean that when you disagree, there is no problem, because they are them and you are you.

So as being in a relationship in which you respect you partner, there are two different and lovely people who share their lives, but both of them being themself. This make that there is harmony in the relationship and in the house. A very harmonious environment for your children to grow up in. And on this bases of reciprocal respect, there you can find Love.

Redlight District or cleaning toilets?

Last Friday I went with my friend and my boyfriend to Amsterdam. As he was visiting me from Portugal and had never been to Holland before, he could not leave before seeing our capital, and all its famous attractions.

After biking around through the city we finally went to the redlight district, as he really wanted to see it of course.

Later, during diner, we were still talking about the girls in that street and then my friend said that she read an interesting article about the redlight district and the prostitutes. Surprisingly she had the magazine, Cosmopolitan, with her at that exact same moment, so I started to read.

The article was about a writer of that magazine, Annemarie van Looij, who wondered how it would be for the girls to sit there and being watch as an attraction and an object. So she got in touch with one of the best know prostitute of the street and they planned a day for her to sit down behind the window and experience what is it like to be there.

In the article she describes her experiences and than she got to the conclusion that she could have had earned an 800€ that day, but that she felt very uncomfortable and dirty just by being watch by tourists and men. The finished her article saying that if she ever would have a money problem she would prefer to clean toilets than being a prostitute at the redlight district.

This made me think and I reflected on it for two days. I was thinking, what would I prefer, what would I chose?

You can say that being a prostitute means that your not respected by the society, that it's bad and dirty. But is it really that much better to clean toilets? Just be honest to yourself. You're at the trainstation and you need to go to the toilet, at that moment there is a woman cleaning the toilets, do you really say hi to her? Do you talk to her or are you grateful to here for cleaning the toilets? Do you even look at her? And what thought do you have about her? I guess it is not much better than the way you would treat a prostitute. 

At the other hand, sitting behind a window on the redlight district, you can claim your respect. That is to say, if you're a prostitute out of free will and being your own boss, you can. The people in the street may look at you as if you are a peace of garbage, but as soon as somebody comes in, you can make him respect you. You are the boss in that room, you don't need to do what you don't want to do. He is your client, you're not his slave. And he will have to watch his tongue, because you will not let him mistreat you verbally. 

So if you would chose to clean toilets instead of being a prostitute, do you really think it gives you more respect from our society? And if you really have financial problems, why work a 40 hours per week for a minimum income on which you barely can survive instead of earning the same money in one week, working less hours.

So... what would you do??