The influence of fear.

It's interesting to see the influence fear has on our lives and how they, most of the times, prejudice our lives decisions and changes.

We all have fears. I think I have ever met a person who didn't know fear. And on one hand fear is a good thing, there it keeps us save from danger, makes us realize when to run or when to defend ourselves. Yet on the other hand many of our fears are surrealistic. Or sometimes they are realistic, but they are given way to much credit and atention.

I think we can divide different types of fears. The first one I would call the general fear. By this I mean the fear shared by a whole society, mostly created by  the mass media, as there is the fear of terrorism. Mostly those type of fears are created on purpose, with deeper intentions. Yet I don't want to go into detail on this subject.

The second type of fear is the personal fear. Even though those fears may be the same for many people in our society, they are the result of our own experiences. Everything we experience in life we divide in good of bad. Someone went on a holiday, when he comes back he will talk about his experiences and will label them 'good experiences' or 'bad experiences'. 

The division of good and bad is one of the factors of the creation of personal fears. When we label something as bad, we make it negative and in a way we say that we don't want to experience the same again. So then we try to avoid such a situation. When we feel we do come near a similar situation we start to feel restless and before you know a fear is created. Now, the more credibility you give those fears, the more power they get over you. In a short amount of time you will see that those fears start to take over your life, they will influence all of the decisions you make in you life. The more fears you create the more limited your life will be, in every aspect. Did you get heartbroken, you might fear to open up to someone again. Did you get fired, you might fear to start a similar job. Did you get an accident, you might never drive again.

Then there is another fear, the reflected fear. This is the fear of other people that they try to reflect on you. Say you want to start you own company and your brother in law once got bankrupted, most likely he will reflect his fears on you, which might you start doubting your own ideas and capacities. Of course, a self conscious man with high self-esteem and -confidence will not be as accessible to those reflected fear as someone who has a lower self-esteem. The latter will always give credit to the opinions of other people and is no able to distinguish fear and reality, neither in the person, nor in them selves, what makes them very indecisive people.

So, if we want to start living our lives to the fullest and in the way we deserve, it's utterly important we start recognizing those fears and deal with them. Only then we will get back a hold on our lives.

Most of our fears are well recognizable, we might picture them as the 'bears on the way'. One way of dealing with our fears is by using our brainpower. Whenever you feel you're being confronted with one of your fears, try to picture it in your head. It might be a very frightening image. Once you got this, make it smaller, like zooming out with a camera. This way you visualize yourself giving less and less credit to this fear. Or, if easier, try to make it ridiculous. So, going back to the bear on the way, showing his big claws and wide open mouth: try to see the nails of this claws with a sugary taint of nail polish. Or maybe all his teeth fall out of his mouth and therefore he starts looking like your grandma after taking out her denture. Anyway, make it smaller or ridiculous, it will help you overcome the fears already existing in your life.

Now, to make sure you don't create any more of those unnecessary fears we have to look back to what I said about the division of good and bad. We already saw that fears are mainly based on experiences we classified as 'good' or 'bad'. So, if we stop labelling our experiences and see them as learning points in our life it might make us more and more alert in the next situation, yet it doesn't create fear.

When you got heartbroken, in stead of fearing getting close to someone again, appreciate all the beautiful things this relationship has given you and know that the next will bring them too. Even learn to appreciate the hurtful things, as they gave you the live experiences you need for you to grow and get wiser.

And in stead of fearing the next job in another company, make sure this time you'll be more assertive. 

Once you start recognizing our own personal fears it will get more an more easy to recognize the general and reflected fears as well. Before you know you will be writing your life script again!

Nb: Important to know as well is that you'll be attracting those things you fear most. By fearing them, you give your fears a lot of attention and energy, what will be send into the universe, where it will find itself with its object. By the vibration sent out by you the object of your fear will come to you.

The Celestine Prophecy - 9 Insights

Celestine prophecy
 
1st Insight 
We are discovering again that we live in a deeply mysterious world, full of sudden coincidences and syncronistic encounters that seem destined.

2nd Insight
As more of us awaken to this mystery, we will create a completely new worldview – redefining the universe as energetic and secret.

3rd Insight
We will discover that everything around us, all matter, consist of and stems from a divine energy that we are beginning to see and understand.

4th Insight
From this perspective, we can see that humans have always felt insecure and disconnected from this sacred source, and have tried to take energy by dominating each other. This struggle is responsible for all human conflict.

5th Insight
The only true solution is to cultivate a personal reconnection with the divine, a mystical transformation that fills us with unlimited energy and love, extends our perception of beauty, and lifts us into a Higher-Self Awareness.

6th Insight
In this awareness, we can release our own pattern of controlling, and discover a specific truth, a mission we are here to share that helps evolve humanity towards this new level of reality.

7th Insight
In pursuit of this mission, we can discover a inner intuition that shows us where to go and what to do, and if we make only positive interpretations, brings a flow of coincidences that opens the doors for our mission to unfold.

8th Insight
When enough of us enter this evolutionary flow, always giving energy to the higher-self of everyone we meet, we will build a new culture where our bodies evolve to ever higher levels of energy and perception.

9th Insight
In this way, we participate in a long journey of evolution from the Big Bang to life's ultimate goal: to energize our bodies, generation by generation, until we walk into a heaven we can finally see.

Mettā, loving-kindness

Introduction
Two and a half year ago a friend of mine sent me a song saying: "here, I have the feeling this will be good for you."
The first time we met, we went for a coffee, with also another friend of mine. When he walked in he gave me a big hug and I was stunned by his inner peace, happiness and love. The whole time I couldn't say a word as his energy was so overwhelming to me. My friend talked with him normally, but I couldn't, I just felt like crying. His energy was so strong and so loving that it 'attacked' my heart chakra and 'messed' with blocks I had in this (and other) chakra(s). To make things 'worse', he once in a while gave me a big hug or stroke my leg.
As I got to know him better, I started to get used to his energy and to know how to handle it, but it kept having a big effect on me. Of course he had noticed this from the first day on, and that is why he sent me that song.


When I listened to it, I felt tears coming up and at the same time it made me so happy. I felt light, as if a burden had fallen from my shoulders. The sounds and the voice were so pure and loving.
I've listened to the music over and over again. When I felt sad or when I wanted peace and quiet within myself I listened to this music. I felt how this music was healing my heart chakra, which now is one of my most developed chakras.


Mettā, loving-kindness
The song I'm referring to is called 'Mettā', sang by Imee Ooi. I wanted to share this song with you, for you to use it to heal your heart chakra. To meditate on it, to learn how to love yourself and, from there, how to give and receive love. And, finally, to be able to love unconditionally.
As sure as I was that this song belonged to the heart chakra, in fact I didn't knew what the song was about. So that is why I did a little research.


Imee Ooi is a Malaysian composer and singer, who makes music out of traditional Buddhist chants, mantras and dharanis. The lyrics are written in Pali, which is the language used to write down most of the earliest Buddhist scriptures, to be found in the Pali Canon. This language has never been a spoken language, yet only the liturgical language of Theravada Buddhism.


One of her songs is called 'Mettā'. 
Mettā (Pāli; Devanagari: मेत्ता) is loving-kindness, friendliness, benevolence, amity, friendship, good will, kindness, love, sympathy, close mental union (on same mental wavelength), and active interest in others. It is one of the ten pāramīs of the Theravāda school of Buddhism, and the first of the four sublime states (Brahmavihāras). This is love without clinging (upādāna). The cultivation of loving-kindness (mettā bhāvanā) is a popular form of meditation in Buddhism. In the Theravadin Buddhist tradition, this practice begins with the meditator cultivating loving-kindness towards himself, then his loved ones, friends, teachers, strangers, enemies, and finally towards all sentient beings. [1]


The last phrase of the paragraph above mentions exactly that what I have been feeling every time I listened to this music, even without knowing what the song actually meant. For me, this means that this music is more then just a song and has real powering energy. It is a music that brings healing to our hearts even if we don't realize it. 
So, now, for all of us to cultivate our loving-kindness towards ourself and then to others, below you'll find the music, with lyrics and translation.


Namasté


Meditation for the heart

[1]: extract from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mettā 

A year of silence...

It has been over a year since I wrote my last post. It really is incredible how fast time passes by. Now what happened? What was the motive of my silence?
I normally write about things I observe, hear or feel around or within me, because all the sudden I see them clearly or because I question them. Yet the past year I have had a tough year of introspection. Lots of changes in my live, of which the biggest, emigration to a foreign country.

Like (almost) everyone I still have issues with my self-esteem and with all the changes and introspection of the past year a lot of doubts arose.

I think we all know what this is and we all have passed through moments of doubts about who we are, what we are and what we know and are capable of. Yet the proportion in which we experience those doubts and how we handle them has a lot to do with our level of self-esteem. The lower our self-esteem the more and the stronger our doubts and the more we let our doubts influence our daily live.

Well, this is what happened to me over the past year. I had doubts about myself, about my life's purpose and about my capabilities. I felt like I was always one step behind, I felt inferior to the people in my surroundings and thought that all of them knew and experienced more then me. As Eckhart Tolle would say, this all is Ego.
I always knew that self-esteem still was one of my biggest issues, but I just didn't know very well how to make it better. My Ego had tried to improve it for a long time by comparison to other people, and as long as I had people around me that I could feel superior to, my Ego would be satisfied and would give me the idea that my self-esteem wasn't that bad after all. Yet, my Ego fooled my, like many of you are fooled by your Ego. Our Ego is master in manipulation, but by being present and aware you are able to see this through.

So that is what I did. Many times I stopped, took a step back and watched my Ego. First a felt annoyed, but with time I started laughing about it. I started laughing about it, because I could see the irony of the Ego trying to play his game. And honestly, many times he still knows how to fool me, I'm definitely not free of Ego yet, that will need more time and awareness, but I'm heading the right direction.

Two weeks ago I really had a low point. I won't say that I hit rock bottom, because that sounds very drastic and it wasn't, but I certainly had tough moment. But sometimes we need the darkness to see where light shines. As long as it is dawn it's more difficult to see this source, but when it is dark, even the slightest ball of light will get your attention, will get your focus. And that is what happened to me. In that moment I knew my purpose. Being, loving, trusting myself and the universe.

A couple of days later I went for an aura reading. I couldn't have got any more confirmation. Everything that I felt, experienced, lived through, intuit or knew over the past year, that I had doubted about, got confirmed during this session. Everything. My guides couldn't have given me a bigger message. I have to TRUST myself and my intuition. I have to hear and acknowledge myself. I have to love myself. Then my self-esteem will raise and my (negative) doubts will belong to the past.

When I went home, in the days after this session I was stunned. I had been doubting about myself all my life, especially over the last year, and all the sudden these doubts were gone. I felt (and still feel) so free. My doubts had been blocking my creativity and now it is time to let my creativity shine. Right now my head is full of new ideas, of alternatives and topics to write about.

So my message to you, dear friend, TRUST your inner feeling. Take a step back and feel the difference between your thoughts and your Being, and you will know what is true. Intuition has his roots in Being and therefore is true. Even if your thoughts will tell you that it is not possible or made up, your thoughts are the ones who are wrong and trying to manipulate you. Thoughts are created by society, by culture, which can never comprehend the truth of Being. You are capable of so much more then your mind can grasp...

TRUST.

No better pleasure than...

In Holland we have this old saying that goes like:

There is no better pleasure that the pleasure out of someones else's suffering.

It means that one of the best forms of pleasure is been giving by someone tripping and falling down of someone walking in to a lantern.

I have to admit that most of the times I also have to laugh when something of this happens, even before knowing if the person is doing fine or not. It's like a first response. And when you found out that the person who walked in to the lantern is doing fine, you can laugh even harder without feeling guilty. I think every one has for at least once found himself in a situation like this. 

Why am I talking about this dutch saying? Well, when I was writing the theoretic part of the second level of my English course I was explaining about Karma.

Before getting to the point, let me just explain a little bit about Karma. We can distinguish three kinds of Karma:

1. Karma of action: this is connected to everything we do.

2. Karma of words: this is connected to everything we say and express. 

3. Karma of consciousness : this is connected to everything we think

Now you have to understand that those types of Karma do influence each other. If I like someone I can want to buy that person some flowers (Karma of consciousness) what will result in my really buying them and give them to that person (Karma of action). Normally the sequence of the Karma goes bottom-up.  You first think, that you speak and then you act. 

In my example I used a nice and friendly situation, but what about a negative example. I don't like my neighbor (Karma of consciousness), I'm telling this to my friends (Karma of words) what increases the feeling I have. The next day my neighbor parks his car to close to mine and I use it to get into a fight with him, verbally of maybe physically (Karma of action). 

Ok, getting back to the dutch saying. Getting pleasure out of someone else's suffering causes a destructive Karma. Who wants to have a destructive Karma? What is the use of laughing about someone else's suffering?

So, if we like the pleasure out of someone else's suffering (Karma of consciousness) we can provoke that pleasure by words (Karma of words) or by our actions (Karma of action). You never tried to trip someone? Gave someone a little push so he or she would bump in to a lantern?

I think this type of pleasure is something ridiculous and something we were impregnated with since we were a kid, because everyone around us did so. But if, for a moment, you stop and become conscious about what you really laughing about, you see that it in fact is a strange habit. Yes, a habit, because normally you laugh without being able to stop and you don't even know why you actually laugh. 

If we want to change and stop this destructive Karma, you can try to 'fight' the Karma of action, but more difficult but way more effective is to change your Karma of consciousness as this is the root of the problem.

How to change your Karma of consciousness? There are several ways to do so. First you can use Reiki to treat this imbalance. You can also make use of meditation. If today you found yourself in this type of situation and you want to change it you can get in a meditation and get back to the moment in witch you found yourself in the situation and you felt that your thoughts started the chain. In your meditation you can change the thoughts you had at that moment and relive the situation in this new context, the outcome will be totally different. By doing this type of meditation you will be changing this little details in your unconsciousness so for the next time your thoughts will be different. This way you can change your Karma of consciousness and everything that comes next.

Prisoner of your own pain

I just read a small story in a book from Ramiro Calle (Calle, 2006) about two young people who, after their country lost the war, were held prison in a concentration camp for two years. After they got out they both went their own ways and only saw each other after ten years. They had the following conversation:

- How are you doing, my friend?

- Fine, even though I cannot forget what we have been through. And you?

- You'll never forget such a thing, however I've got over it.

- I didn't. I'm still full of hatred towards our guards. There's not a day passing by on which I don't hate them with the full force of my being.

- Oh, my dear friend! The worst isn't the two years you've been prison in the concentration camp,  it's the ten years you've still been prison afterwards.

This small story is so true. I think we all have experienced it. Something happened to you and in stead of going on with your live, you keep rewinding the situation in your head, feeling all the pain over and over. You live it again and again and again, until you get attached to the pain, sometimes you even start to feel comfortable with the pain, the pain becomes you or, for at least, that's what you think. You're starting to identify with that pain.

This is what Eckhart Tolle calls 'the painbody'. The identification with your pain becomes so strong, that when you think about letting go of the pain it feels like letting go of your identity. But you always have to remember that you are not your pain, you are not your emotions, nor your thoughts. You are simply you. 

To forgive, but not to forget. To forget is not needed, but letting go of your pain and your hatred towards other people who hurt you is an enormous relieve, the burden will fall right of your shoulders and everything becomes light again. It might even feel that you have a blank space in your heart where earlier the hatred seated, but if you just let it be, this blank space will fill itself up with love and peace.

Those special words...

How many times do you say 'I love you' to the person you love?

We all know those dramatic tv moments, in which a woman dies and her husband, while being in tears, says: "I never told her I loved her, I should have told her."

On the other hand, you probably also know someone who says that you should not tell it every day to the person you love, as the word would become meaningless.

We'll I'm one of those people who tells it every day again and I have to say that two days ago this thought slipped through my mind. As a result, I didn't tell my love how I felt for two days, but then I started to feel the need again to do so. 

When I said: "I love you." it felt so good. Then I realized, it doesn't matter if you say it seven days a week, because if you truly love someone every day, then why not tell him or her every day? Those words will never get meaningless at all!

It gets meaningless though, when it becomes a habit to say it, when those words come automatically and without you being conscious saying it. Only then it will be three simple words, without content.

So, take a look at yourself and check your emotions and consciousness when you speak out those sweet words. And if they do come from you heart, then please go on say it every day over and over again, because there is nothing more beautiful than Love.

Love or respect??

Do you know those calenders where you have one page for every day of the year, that every day you can rip one page off and read what's on the next?

Well, we have such a calender, and it has a saying on every page.. I don't really like it, as most of the times I disagree with the writer. For two months now, I've been thinking about this one saying. It says:

The best thing you can do for your children, is to love your partner.

I think most people who read it for the first time, will say: "yes, it's true." But is it really? Let us see.

What is the thing that frightens children the most? The idea of their parents breaking up... and when will they get that idea? Exactly, when their parents fight. Now we have established this, we need to see when couples do or do not argue.

I know a lot of people that deeply love their partners, but once in a while (once a month or maybe once a week) they just need to argue, they always find something to fight about. And this doesn't mean they don't love their partner, but they just have to sometimes...

In my opinion the best you can do for your children is to respect you partner. Because if you really respect a person, rather it is your partner or not, you don't feel the need to change that person.

Respecting a person is respecting it for all he or she is, his/her way of living and thinking, his or her being who he/she really is. It doesn't mean you have to agree with that person all the time, but it does mean that when you disagree, there is no problem, because they are them and you are you.

So as being in a relationship in which you respect you partner, there are two different and lovely people who share their lives, but both of them being themself. This make that there is harmony in the relationship and in the house. A very harmonious environment for your children to grow up in. And on this bases of reciprocal respect, there you can find Love.